


pills

by Not_a_healthy_human



Series: random parrlyn One-shots [11]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: F/F, Suicide, cathy is sad, pill overdose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29499375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_a_healthy_human/pseuds/Not_a_healthy_human
Summary: Cathy cannot deal with being just one word in His story
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Catherine Parr, Anne of Cleves & Catherine Parr, Anne of Cleves/Katherine Howard, Catherine Parr & Jane Seymour, Catherine of Aragon & Catherine Parr, Catherine of Aragon/Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard & Catherine Parr
Series: random parrlyn One-shots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007544
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	pills

**Author's Note:**

> So, remember that Anne+ depression fic? Well, here is the Cathy version since I'm sad  
> Tw. pill overdose, suicide, and depression thoughts

One, two, three, four, five. The count kept going up. The pills were running freely through her system, making her remember why she was there, slumped over the bathroom floors swallowing as many pills as she could. She was so tired of being the survivor. She was tired of being one more word on a ridiculous rhyme.  ** The survivor ** , Catherine Parr. She was no more than that. She was tired of being reduced to so little, to small words you'd use in a sentence. Except, she was one lone word. The writer, the survivor, the smart one, the nerd. She was a small cluster of words in the end. Nothing else. 

Lina and Anna were always seen as full  ** sentences ** . With a noun, a verb, and a purpose. Never reduced to their divorced motto. The cousins were  ** paragraphs ** . Always showing more, always receiving more from their audience. She wouldn't admit it, but she was jealous of them all. They always seemed to take the spotlight as their own and share it with those who were more than one word. Always leaving her wondering why she was always that. Always the bland one. She knew she loved them, and they loved her, but she was so tired of faking a smile and hope they somehow noticed the void inside of her. Once or twice she had let them see a part of her pain, her worries, her insecurities. But she always pretended to get better afterward. She didn't want them to worry, not for her. Not for another bland word in  ** history ** . She knew they were worrying them the more she spent outside. She knew she should have told them when it started. When  ** his  ** thoughts started running through her head. She felt useless. Everyday wondering when  ** he ** would come and punish her as he should have. She was no more than a bland word after all.

His story was always in the back of her head. She had long since forgotten if he was Seymour or Tudor. If he was a mix of her biggest insecurities.  ** Seymour ** telling her she was not  ** enough ** , that she was not strong enough, that she would never be worth it.  ** Tudor ** yelling at her, telling her she was better off  ** dead ** , screaming at her how unremarkable her life was. The mixed voices attacked her day and night. Her already bad sleeping habits reaching limits she didn't know she would cross. Lina and Anne forcing to start taking sleep medication as to not hurt herself further. She knew she was making them worry about her well-being. She knew it was a matter of time before they found her dead or half-dead in the bathroom, but she could not keep going. Not when all she had worked on for the little time she had been alive was crumbling before her. 

She heard them coming into the house, it was a matter of time before one of them opened the bathroom door. Who would be the unlucky one?  ** Anne ** ? Her fiance and the woman she had the fortune to meet and love. Maybe  ** Lina ** ? Her godmother, the one that she had grown to see as a mother figure. Or  ** Kat ** ? The one that got her to come out of her room more often. Perhaps  ** Anna ** would open the door. The support that defended her repeatedly. If  ** Jane ** 's luck was running low maybe she will be the one to stumble upon her corpse. The woman that had helped her more than once no matter how small the problem was. She dreaded her death moment, but she dreaded more the moment her friends would see her gone. 

The chatter downstairs distracted her enough to numb her feeling of guilt. What was she doing? Nevermind, she had made a decision, there was no turning back. She took the small note she had arranged a week ago and deposited it beside her. She Would not go before saying goodbye. The pills were starting to numb everything around her. Her breathing stilling and her heartbeat going slower with each second. She wished she had given them one last hug before erasing the word of the rhyme. 

Anne and Lina knew something was wrong with Cathy, her being in her room all day was her normal routine, but her not sleeping for weeks in a row and shutting them down was worrying. Anna and Kat had been trying to distract her from whatever work she still had. But each time she was more and more reluctant to leave. Jane had tried to get her to help around with house chores to at least get her to talk, even if it was only a short word exchange. they didn't know the one day they all had a double show day but Cathy would be the day she finally threw their hopes down. They came home a bit later than intended, a malfunction on the tube or something like that. Cathy's door was locked, as usual, so they decided to let her rest for a bit. It was after Anne had too many drinks that they found out about the cold truth. Anne's piercing scream sent them all running to where it came from. All stopped dead on their tracks when they saw the scene they wished wasn't real. Anne clinging to a long-gone Cathy with a bunch of pills scattered around. Anne repeatedly begging for her to open her eyes. Lina fell on her knees, not believing her goddaughter was not there anymore. Tears stained her face. Kat turned around to run into her room, not being able to see the grotesque scene anymore. Anna following her letting herself cry once she had her girlfriend secure in her arms. Jane closed the distance with Lina putting a comforting arm around her. Cathy was no longer between them. 

After a long while of crying, finally, Lina spotted the note beside Cathy's dead body. "I- I think we should all read it together." Jane sobbed out, still trying to process what had happened. Anne and Lina both looked at her, debating whether or not they should read it at all. "She- She shouldn't be gone. She shouldn't!" Anne screamed over and over. Her eyes were bloodshot red and her body was trembling as well as her voice. A shell of the Anne they all loved and cared for. "She would- She would want us to read it," Lina whispered more to herself than to the other two. She seemed so small. It was unnerving to see her, the proud Catalina de Aragón, crunching down and sobbing loudly. Her once regal stance shattered. "We'll read it- but not now." Anne finally said, voice raspy after screaming for almost an hour. The other two nodded in agreement, not having it on them to argue. 

The funeral was held not so long after. All of the queens were there, wearing blue to honor their missing member. Taking turns to speak, Jane had the first word. "Cathy- Cathy was more than a friend to all of us. She was family. She was so smart, so strong, always good with words. Humble to no end. She will forever live in our memories no matter how much time goes by." Jane stepped out of the podium to leave some room for Anna. "We were as close as we could be. She was always a step ahead of me over all the strategic games she made me play. I always admired her for who she was." Anna's choked words rang through the hall, Kat climbing the stairs to say her own words. "I never knew what a best friend with no ill intentions was until Cathy came around. She was always there to make me laugh with whatever her mind was going on about. She wasn't judgemental nor mean, always the best friend I knew I could count on." Kat's face was humid with her constant stream of tears, her nose quickly turning red. Lina took her time, she wasn't ready to talk yet. When she finally stepped up, she wasn't sure if she could do it without breaking down. "She was a daughter- She became my own daughter over the time we spent together. She was always curious about so many things all the time. I met her in my last life, she was an infant, I loved her since the moment her mother told me she was pregnant. I dreamed of getting to see Maud's daughter grow up and become an amazing woman. And now I know she did. I had the honor of meeting her, and I'm so proud of whom she grew up to be." Aragon was sobbing, but her pride was still there, her pride was called Cathy, and she would never forget her. Finally, it was Anne's turn to speak. Her hands were grasping tightly a little neatly folded paper. "I'd like- to read Cathy's last words. She would have wanted us to remember her with them. "Hi, If you're reading this, then, I must be gone. I'm sorry for leaving you all alone, I guess everything was getting too hard for me to keep pushing through. First, I'd like to tell you that there was nothing you could have done, I was tired of being no more than one more word in a stupid rhyme. Of being no more than the nerd, the smart one, the writer, the survivor. I was done with being a part of  ** his ** story. I was done with Seymour and Tudor haunting me every night. Their actions, my actions shutting out any chance I had of moving forward. I want to make my own story. Without them on it. This time I die for me and only me. I'm no longer a word in their story. I'm my own book and my own author." She was my fiance, and she was so much more than anyone could imagine. I loved her, so did everyone in this room. She was not a brain in a jar, nor was she a simple person who loved coffee. She was Catherine Parr. And we will never forget her." Anne said before closing the coffin.


End file.
